Moving Sucks

Photo: Hyperbole and a Half

I said this blog was going to be about the lessons learned while living on a limited budget in an expensive country. So please allow me this rant.

I am a nomad. I have lived in about 10 different places, in two different countries, over the last 6 years. And while the thrill of adventure can be a wonderful thing, the constant upheaval and lack of long-term stability is starting to take it's toll.

The actual moving of stuff isn't the worst part (though it is close). No, what sucks major donkey balls is the finding the place to move your crap to. And doing so when you are financially challenged is the turd cream on a poop pie. When money is not an object, you can pay bloodsuckers realtors to do the hard work for you. For upwards of 15 percent of the annual rent, someone else will go through the trouble of finding your perfect dream home/ apartment. But if you're like me and every dollar/ euro/ kroner counts, such luxury is not an option.

Apartment searching is difficult largely because people are assholes and the entire process makes me want to crawl into a ball and cry. My latest foray into apartment listings has caused my midday drinking to increase exponentially. The worst room tumblr is only funny when you're not the one showing up to each viewing with the expectation of finding something that is actually habitable. People who list closets as cozy rooms should be gut-punched by every person that answers the ad. 

I also have an intense hatred for people who use apartment listings as personal ads. No, I will not use my vagina in lieu of cash to pay for shelter. 

And if you think intra-city moves are stressful, good lord, try international moves. You have all of the same stress, but now you have the added worry of scammers since you're not in the actual country you're moving to. Here, a trustworthy friend is a godsend (Thanks Tandi). Currently, I'm trying to move from Denmark to Germany so that I can work there legally as an American citizen. Another monkey wrench for me is my work permit is dependent on me obtaining housing. So I can't work to afford a better place until I shell out the money for a crappy one. Did I mention that I will not even live in this apartment for the first three months since I will be traveling for my job?

Just writing this is making me frustrated, where's my beer?